When a Wiz a Wean

When ah wiz a wean
The world wiz quite plain
and ma worries wurr aw aboot dainties
bit as ahv goat aulder
and neighboors urr "caulder"
Seems the worlds no as nice as its painted

When ah wiz a wean
Ah never felt pain
Ah grazed knee, a cut oan the fingurr
"Stoap that daft greetin" Ma Mammy wid say
"Urr ahll gie ye something tae greet fur"

When ah wiz a wean
Ah hid a shoap o ma ain,
Roon the back, wi a boax fur a coonter
We hid tin cans fur peas
and we hid clabber fur cheese
while the boays wurr a military joonta

When ah wiz a wean
The boays wurr a pain
They spiled aw oor games wi their antics
They ran aw aboot wi ah howl and a whoop
and, made aw the lassies go frantic

When ah wiz a wean
The world wiz ma ain
And we wandered all over the city
Wurr armpits wurr oxters
Wurr big fish wurr doacters
But its aw different noo, merr's the pity

Aye, when ah wiz a wean (sigh)
wid ah go therr again?
Aye sure,: "like ah shot oota gun"
cos in spite of the bad
the tragic and sad
The people wurr friendly and fun